I feel closed off to love. Do I need to put myself out there, or wait to blossom again?
The blossom-exposure continuum is more of a concentric circle situation. What if we thought of this as not an “either/or” choice, but a “both/and” possibility? The feeling of protection surrounding your heart is there for a reason: It has served your safety in the past. Moving the heart through pain often arrives in the form of a conversation between that heart and your mind — your mind can receive signals, one by one, that you might just be at peace enough to soften again. That can take time, and it’s not always linear. This works in your favor, because it means that you get to be the orchestra conductor of your own symphony. (Which only plays one song, by the way — it’s called “finally understanding and believing that the way that person treated you had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.”) Until then, you get to decide how the movement crescendos.
Blossoming again — which is a sumptuous way of putting it, so thank you for that — can also involve putting yourself out there, in whatever way feels sweet to you. Curiosity can beget just the kind of gentleness your heart needs to start beating again. When it comes to releasing the kinds of emotions that can feel like a monsoon made of lava, observe the feeling at first. Even if that’s all you can do without erupting, do it. The next time, try to touch it a little. Maybe that is all you can do at that moment, and that is wondrous too. Instead of attempting to excavate the core of your dying star T-minus two seconds after its collapse, think of yourself as an alien light being floating through space in the aftermath, touching bits of stardust here and there with a delicate acceptance of what has transpired. Maybe you get more comfortable with their texture, maybe the bits get bigger. Maybe one of them is taking yourself to dinner alone with a book. Maybe another one of them is giving someone intriguing your number. Maybe you need to just float for a little longer. You’ll know what feels right along your journey when it arrives. As with anything that’s worth doing, pain is not always OK. A little discomfort, however, is.
The petals strain against the confines of the bud, knowing they must blossom beyond it. But they take their time, knowing that their process is perfect.
Goth Shakira is an Aquarian Queen of Pentacles divining and loving in Los Angeles. Send your questions to our resident love expert here.
