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It all starts with a flirty message. I don’t care who he is or what he looks like – all that matters to me is that he is not single.
‘Wow,’ I type. ‘You look like someone I’d want to have a drink with…’
The response comes back within minutes. ‘Let’s go! Are you local?’
After exchanging just three messages, this handsome stranger – who I know is engaged to another woman – asks me to send him nude photos.
Result. Men are just so predictable.
How do I sleep at night? Well, it’s easy. Because I’m not the proverbial ‘homewrecker’ getting a kick out of seducing married men. I don’t want them to succumb to temptation. But seduction is the nature of my business – and I work in tandem with these men’s wives.
Madeline Smith is paid by wives and girlfriends to test their partners’ loyalty
I’m a professional loyalty tester – also known as a honeytrap – which means women pay me to see if their partners would stray, given the opportunity. Usually, they’re already pretty certain their men are playing away, but just want solid proof.
Tell me a little about your partner, direct me towards his social media accounts and I’ll pounce. I’ll send flirty texts, voice notes and even sexually inviting pictures to see if he can be tempted.
My prices start from £50 for an Instagram or Facebook message exchange. Some days I help one client, some days I help ten. I receive huge amounts of messages every day from women aged between 24 and 55, and I only accept clients I truly believe I can help. Supporting women, so that they can find better, morally sound partners, is my primary motivation.
In the case above, this man’s fiancee was three months’ pregnant and due to be married to him that summer, but was concerned that his behaviour wasn’t adding up. His public Instagram profile had plenty of pictures of him shirtless on boats and in the gym, but no sign of her. Sadly, her worries proved founded.
It’s depressing how quickly most men give in to temptation. In the three years I’ve been doing this, the longest a job has ever taken me was a couple of weeks – but, usually, I’ve got them over a barrel within the hour.
Unfortunately, my statistics show that over 80 per cent of the men I’m asked to honeytrap will fail my test.
My client’s wishes lead me entirely. If a man isn’t responding after multiple attempts to contact him, I’ll let her know and give her two options. Either we consider him a ‘pass’ and I block him; or we ‘ice’ him out.
This means I’ll stop contacting him, but I won’t unfollow him. There have been plenty of cases where the man will crawl back after weeks, even months, and try to spark up conversation.
Going back to my client with proof is an emotionally confusing time. Even though they know in their heart of hearts that their partner is cheating, often they’re willing themselves to be wrong, so the pain cuts deep.
I know exactly how they feel. I’ve been cheated on myself in the past, which helps with my work. I know just how emotionally manipulative cheaters can be. But in my experience, if you feel like something isn’t right, then it isn’t.
Her ‘honey trap’ methods cost £50 for a social media conversation
As I explain below, there are always signs that something is amiss – if you know what to look for.
Being the one to confirm their worst fears is a terrible burden, but I like to think of myself as an advocate for women.
So how did I get into this line of work? I’ve always been the confidante in my group of friends, and provided my ‘services’ to a few friends to test out their new boyfriends.
Word got out, and eventually, when I was 27, my fiance suggested I start making TikTok videos about it.
At first I struggled to believe anyone would care, but soon women were messaging me offering me money to make their boyfriends cheat. Try explaining that new job to your parents.
At first, I hated my work. I couldn’t believe the depths of deceit to which people would sink. One of my clients was going through cancer treatment when I successfully ‘trapped’ her boyfriend. I’ve lost count of the number of pregnant women I’ve heard from.
For a while, I totally lost faith in humanity. I would go to my fiance in tears, despairing over the awful sagas I saw. I didn’t feel guilty at my role in it as such – after all, the men were the ones to blame – but it was terrible seeing people’s lives destroyed.
I comforted myself that at least my clients now knew what had been going on behind their back. They had regained some power, which is one of the most important things about my work.
And it sparked some really healthy discussions with my fiance that has made us stronger. He’s my partner in this business, as well as romantically. We analyse these women’s stories together, which in turn helps us to understand each other better.
So, what have I learnt from the thousands of cheaters I have exposed?
Here are some top signs to look out for that may reveal your man could be cheating.
He hides his phone
When you’re out for dinner, or just on the sofa watching TV, does your man leave his phone face up or face down? It may seem trivial, but ask yourself – what could possibly flash up that he doesn’t want anyone to see?
I think it’s rubbish when people say phones should be private. You can be anyone you want to be online (trust me, I would know), and you should recognise that your partner may feel insecure about your online activities. If you’ve got nothing to hide, why should you care? It meant a lot to me that my fiance was comfortable sharing his passcode.
Obviously, a man can’t control if a woman messages him, but he can control his reaction.
Take one of my ‘failed’ experiments. A client asked me to test her husband, and he politely informed me he was happily married. When I shared the happy news with her, she said he had already showed her the conversation. Guys, it’s that simple: transparency, always.
You’re not in his pics
With my pregnant client, it was an immediate red flag that there were no pictures of her on his Instagram profile. Even if he claims he never posts on social media, you should at least feature in his profile photo. Your partner should be proud to show you off; if he’s not, it signals a lack of commitment.
He uses Snapchat
There is no good reason why any man past school age should have Snapchat on his phone. Snapchat – with the USP that it deletes messages after they’ve been viewed – is an app for cheaters. I’ve only ever known adult men use it to send and receive explicit photographs. Whatever his explanation, if he’s a regular Snapper, be very wary.
Won’t show location
Nowadays, it’s normal to have your loved ones on location-sharing apps. One of the red flags I often hear is: ‘My husband’s location always seems to turn off with no explanation.’
Cheaters will come up with some excuse as to why they don’t want to share their location, but then insist that their girlfriend shares theirs. Which leads me to my next red flag…
Unequal expectations
Cheaters are jealous people with fragile egos. That’s almost always why they cheat: the validation of one woman’s love is never enough for them.
My clients often report that their partner expects them to have unrealistic boundaries with men: cutting off male friends, even not speaking to male colleagues. Meanwhile, he’s posting pictures of himself with bikini-clad stunners who are ‘just friends’.
From her experience exposing thousands of cheaters online, Madeline says tell-tale signs of an unfaithful lover include using Snapchat and refusing to ‘share’ his location on your phone
He claims you cheat
Does your partner call you ‘crazy’, or claim you’re ‘just being insecure’ if you raise concerns? Does he accuse you of being unfaithful for no obvious reason?
Not only is this gaslighting behaviour designed to be humiliating, it is also highly revealing. The chances are he’s projecting his own guilt on to you. In a loving relationship, the response to concerns being raised should be shock and gentle affirmation. Think ‘Oh my gosh, I would never do that to you’ – not ‘Are you crazy? I can’t deal with your insecurity right now.’
Intuition is key
Women are more emotionally intelligent than men, but we’re also masters of convincing ourselves that strange behaviour must have an innocent explanation, when every bone is our body is screaming otherwise.
Trust your gut. Almost all of the messages I receive are from women saying that something just doesn’t feel right and, sadly, they’re usually right. If in doubt, call him out – or engage the services of someone like me!
Emotional distancing
Does your partner seem disengaged during conversations? Have his compliments stopped? Did he use to touch you a lot, and no longer does? This kind of emotional distancing is one of the biggest red flags.
Follow Madeline on TikTok @madelinethereal and themadelinebrand.com/
As told to Olivia Dean
