Anyone with an unusual name knows the pain of being teased at school, and some monikers are more subject to ridicule than others.
One mother is keen to help her eight-year-old daughter avoid the experience that her father had when he was at school.
Posting on Reddit, the mother, believed to be from the US, revealed that her husband’s family name – Dick – led to him being ‘teased a lot as a kid’.
Now, their young daughter is already beginning to hear her last name being mocked and the couple are eager to stop it from going any further.
She wrote: ‘Hello – looking for advice. I have an eight-year-old daughter and our last name is Dick.
‘My husband said he was teased a lot as a kid and would like to change her last name. We are thinking of changing it to my maiden name which is more like Smith.’
The mum asked other Reddit users for advice on how to go about changing her daughter’s last name, including whether she should hire a child psychologist to help her daughter with the process.
‘I will hire a family attorney to help me legally change it (both parents agree) and get a new [social security number] and passport for her.
A mum on Reddit has shared her worries that her daughter will be teased for her ‘rude’ surname – like her father was when he was in school
The little girl’s parents are keen to change her surname to avoid bullying in future, and turned to the online forum for advice
‘But, should I reach out to a child psychologist? She thankfully has only been teased a few times and doesn’t seem to be bothered by it which makes me worry she isn’t going to want to change it – but we both feel strongly it will be a good decision in the long run.’
She added: ‘Was thinking soft launch of her new name in the summer and then tell the school to make it official in the fall.
‘Any suggestions or thoughts? Looking for advice as I have a pit in my stomach about talking to her.’
In response, some Reddit users were perplexed as to why the parents hadn’t changed their daughter’s name when she was born.
‘Why would you be considering this now that she is eight?’ one person asked. ‘This seems like something you and your husband would have known/been aware of when she was born.’
The mother replied: ‘Definitely. I think we struggled with it. But never having kids just didn’t know. And now just keep thinking about how hard it will be with jersey names, school announcements, everyday interactions.’
Others advised her to change her and her husband’s last names to match their daughter’s new one, so she doesn’t feel singled out.
‘Stay in the lane of ‘we are changing our last name as a family’, it’s a family decision and not solely on her,’ one person said.
‘You both changing your last names too and becoming the ‘Smith’ family is best for her emotionally and socially. She will adapt and will be OK with it.’
Another added that if they do not change their last names to be the same as their daughter’s, they may run into legal issues.
‘Isn’t it going to be difficult going forward if you and your husband don’t have the same legal last name as your minor daughter?
‘I would at least consult a lawyer on the logistical hurdles you may encounter (school, insurance, etc) if you only change her name.’
One user shared their own experience of having a ‘rude’ last name and encouraged the parents to change their daughter’s name for her sake.
‘Yes, please change her name and it’s good that you’re doing it while she’s young,’ they said.
‘My maiden name was Seaman and the bullies were relentless starting in 6th grade once they found out what it sounded like.
‘I had no idea what it meant until one of them explained it to me. I was a little innocent. I would have given anything to change it back then.’
Giving advice on how to help her daughter be ‘response ready’ when other children ask her about her name change, one person said: ‘She can keep it vague, ‘Just decided to use my mum’s name!’ ‘Family stuff I’m not super sure about… but I like Smith!’
‘If she says it’s about being teased or potentially teased the old name will stick! Kids that age have short memories. By the next school year, few will remember the name change.’
