In news meant to shift the Earth’s tectonic plates, Meghan Markle has returned to acting.
Has she ever stopped?
But before we get into Meghan’s dramatics — histrionics, really — let’s revisit her most recent ‘acting’ work in that home movie clip.
The scene: A seemingly disconsolate Prince Harry slouches on a sofa, dressed in T-shirt and sweats, staring blankly as the LA Dodgers win the World Series.
The set: An in-home screening room, presumably in Meghan and Harry’s Montecito mansion, lacking any art on the walls, any side-tables for drinks and snacks, and any friends of Harry’s. The furniture looks La-Z-Boy adjacent.
Action!
Into the frame hops Meghan, opening her arms and bending down to kiss her unsuspecting husband, who quickly realizes it’s time to smile and laugh.
Meghan then turns to a female friend, and both begin screeching at a pitch and decibel that could repel wildlife, jumping and pumping their arms in the air before hugging.
In news meant to shift the Earth’s tectonic plates, Meghan Markle has returned to acting. Has she ever stopped?
Now, this video clip, posted to Meghan’s Instagram story, was meant to look totally relaxed, unplanned and spontaneous.
It looked anything but.
In fact, only Harry looked natural — as if he had been completely caught off-guard and had no idea a small camera was filming this grainy, black-and-white footage of a private home-viewing party.
Meghan, however — Meghan came across as she always does: Stilted, artificial, simulating what she thinks happiness and joy look like, and lacking a single shred of self-awareness.
In other words, she’s a terrible actress. Always has been.
But the timing of this video, and the subsequent development that she’s returning to the dramatic arts, is surely key.
It’s all coming on the heels of King Charles stripping his brother of all royal titles, honors and residences, which raises the question: When William ascends the throne, are Harry and Meghan next?
It also comes as Harry has released a 650-word essay in advance of Remembrance Day, issued from ‘The Office of Prince Harry & Meghan’ and entitled, ‘The Bond, The Banter, The Bravery: What It Means to Be British.’
What it means to be British.
One line in this essay — again, Harry reminding us of his military service for his homeland, and reframing himself as a serious person — stands out:
‘Though currently, I may live in the United States, Britain is, and always will be, the country I proudly served and fought for.’
Currently.
Finally, finally, Harry and Meghan appear to have gotten the message.
And now he is off in Canada, where his father is king, while Meghan stays in California.
It’s perhaps why Meghan posted that LA Dodgers video. She is trying to prove that she and Harry are happier than ever — that they have not a care as Andrew is humiliated on the world stage and reintroduced as Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, now and forever.
Meghan has never been subtle, but these quotes about why she’s now returning to acting feel telling.
‘It is Meghan’s way of gently putting her toe back in the water and seeing how she enjoys being back on set,’ a source told The Sun.
One possible translation: It is Meghan’s way of going back to Hollywood while her husband seemingly works his way back into the royal fold.
Per The Sun, ‘everyone involved [in the movie] is super-excited’ that Meghan is there.
Who isn’t super-excited to see Meghan? Just ask the crowd at Dodger Stadium, who reportedly booed Meghan and Harry on the jumbotron last week.
More! A source close to the production says that Meghan has been ‘swamped with offers’ but ‘this one felt right’.
Swamped with offers! Yet she chooses, for this most consequential return, a movie whose leads are 50 percent nepo-babies. It’s quite the message to send as a woman made famous for her marriage.
And now Harry is off in Canada (pictured), where his father is king, while Meghan stays in California
One possible translation: This is Meghan’s way of going back to Hollywood while her husband seemingly works his way back into the royal fold (pictured: Meghan as Rachel Zane in Suits)
Let’s revisit some of Meghan’s acting credits, shall we?
2006-2007: ‘Briefcase girl’ on the network game show Deal or No Deal.
Meghan later said that ‘I didn’t like feeling forced to be all looks and little substance. And that’s how it felt for me at the time, being reduced to this specific archetype: the word «bimbo».’
Forced? She auditioned for it!
Also, she meant ‘stereotype’ — not the shoehorned-in ‘archetype’, which referenced the name of her first failed podcast.
But I digress. Back to the acting credits:
2008: Cameo in the Beverly Hills, 90210 reboot. This was a small role in which, among other things, she simulated oral sex in a parked car.
2010: Seconds of screen time in the movie Remember Me.
2011: Ditto in Horrible Bosses.
2011-2018: Suits, as Rachel Zane, a performance that Harry memorialized in Spare as leading William and Kate, who Harry claimed were ‘religious’ fans of the show, to gasp upon his disclosure that they were dating.
‘Their mouths fell open,’ Harry wrote. ‘They turned to each other. Then Willy turned to me and said, «F**k off!»‘
OK, sure.
2016: Dater’s Handbook, Hallmark movie, lead role as Cassandra — 23 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.
I would add to this, of course, her apparent performance as a royal wife pleading racism to Oprah Winfrey.
As to this new role: Meghan has been cast alongside Lily Collins, Jack Quaid, Brie Larson and Henry Golding in Close Personal Friends, a comedy about a non-famous couple that meets a celebrity couple in Santa Barbara.
Meghan is said to be playing herself. If only she knew who that was.
