Experts have shared the key things you should say and do for a loved one on their death bed – and why you should keep talking to them after they die.
Hospice nurses who have seen countless people pass away have recommended keeping your last words simple and not being afraid to display emotion.
They also advise taking your time to say final goodbyes, being emotionally present and making the room as comfortable as possible for your loved one.
‘When you’re educated about what will happen, that cuts your fears in half,’ says Narinder Bazen, a death midwife in Bangor, Maine, told the Wall Street Journal.
Her first recommendation was to make your loved one’s surroundings peaceful.
Experts have shared the key things you should say and do for a loved one on their death bed – and why you should keep talking to them after they die
‘When we create this feeling around the person that fosters deep, deep relaxation, we allow them to let go,’ Bazen told the WSJ.
She added that you should take your time to say goodbye because it will only happen once.
‘There is an invitation to experience awe when a loved one dies,’ Bazen said.
Hadley Vlahos, a hospice nurse in Biloxi, Mississippi, who has penned a book about the last chapter of life, gave some simple recommendations about what to say.
‘You want them to hear what is important,’ Vlahos told the WSJ.
‘Say: «I love you.» «Thank you.» «I’ll be OK.» If you have amends to make, «I’m sorry» or «I forgive you» will do.’
An author of six books about the last chapter of life has also revealed why you should keep talking to your loved one in the moments after they die
Bob Uslander, a palliative and end-of-life care physician in San Diego, California, said if you don’t know what to say, touch alone is sometimes enough.
‘Sometimes the best thing you can do is to sit quietly holding a person’s hand and letting them feel your unwavering, loving presence,’ Uslander told the WSJ.
Grief expert David Kessler, who has written six books about the end of life, has recommended keeping talking even after the person dies, because hearing is believed to be one of the last senses to lose function.
Once the person has passed, for your own peace of mind you should consider leaving the room before the hospice staff remove the body.
