A couples’ therapist has shared the nine ‘red flag’ phone behaviors that may mean your partner is hiding something from you.
Jonathan Van Viegen, a relationship coach and psychotherapist who is originally from the US but is now based in Central America, recently revealed that he believes the way your partner acts with their cellular device can say a lot about your romance.
He listed nine ‘disheartening’ technology habits that he thinks are signs of an unhealthy relationship in a recent video shared to his Instagram.
‘Nine red flag phone behaviors that wouldn’t see the light of day in my marriage… from a couples’ therapist,’ he wrote in the video.
In the caption, Jonathan explained that while it’s important that each person has their privacy in a relationship, keeping secrets from your significant other can lead to a distrust, and eventually, a split.
A couples therapist has shared the nine ‘red flag’ phone behaviors that may mean your partner is hiding something from you
And if your partner acts suspicious or guilty when it comes to their phone, they may be doing something on there that they don’t want you to know about it.
‘Privacy is important to have in marriages – like when you go to the bathroom. But, watch out if it turns into secrecy because secrecy kills marriages,’ he warned.
‘Here are nine phone behaviors that my wife and I agreed would never happen in our marriage.
‘Not saying you should follow our example – so you do you. But be reassured knowing that at least one other couple in the world isn’t putting up with these disheartening red flags.’
The first ‘red flag’ on Jonathan’s list was when someone refuses to share their passwords with their partner.
Next, he said that someone ‘hiding’ their phone or keeping it ‘face down’ around their lover is a bad sign.
He also warned about people who ‘turn their body away’ when they’re using their phone, as well as those who ‘close apps and lock their phone’ immediately when you approach them.
Other things on Jonathan’s list of phone ‘red flags’ included someone suddenly changing their password and becoming ‘highly protective of their phone’ and someone being ‘hot and cold’ about letting you use it.
Relationship coach Jonathan Van Viegen recently revealed that he believes that the way your partner acts with their cellular device can say a lot about your romance
He listed nine ‘disheartening’ technology habits that he thinks are signs of an unhealthy relationship in a recent video shared to his Instagram. He’s seen with his wife
Last but not least, he said it’s not good if your partner gets ‘angry or defensive’ when asked about it.
‘Share this with someone who deserves to be in a honest and transparent relationship,’ he concluded.
Jonathan’s video quickly went viral and it sparked a heated debate between viewers – with some praising his take and others disagreeing with him.
‘Everything on this list is a red flag. People need their own space, even in the most intimate of relationships,’ one person wrote.
‘If you can’t trust your partner why are you even in a relationship? If them putting their phone face down or away makes you think they’re hiding something, you need to check out why you feel that way.’
‘A partner wanting access to your phone all the time is a red flag. That’s not partnership and transparency, it’s control and lack of trust,’ said someone else.
‘There are so many reasons why someone would want privacy on their phone,’ added another user.
‘Business dealings can often include NDAs and confidential information, you may journal on your phone or have other types of private information like therapy notes, you could be planning a surprise…
‘Why don’t we normalize secure attachment styles instead that focus on trust and allow privacy without secrecy?’
‘This advice is a giant red flag for me. Lack of trust is what causes issues in relationships and this SCREAMS you don’t trust your spouse,’ read a fourth comment. ‘And if there’s no trust then you should not be together.’
A sixth said, ‘Married 51 years. I have never gone through my husband’s phone nor will I. He has never asked to go through mine. Your advice is absurd.’
‘It’s amazing how many people are defending keeping secrets from your spouse,’ defended another user.
Jonathan’s video quickly went viral and it sparked a heated debate between viewers – with some praising his take and others disagreeing with him
‘Either you’re cheating or you’re trying to feel better about the fact that your partner does this to you.’
‘Wait I don’t understand the problem with what he’s said? Why are you wanting to keep things from your significant other?’ asked someone else.
‘My husband and I know each others passwords, we can borrow each others phones, we don’t hide things. The comments seem very odd.’
In another video, Jonathan spoke out about why he decided to give his wife ‘full access to his phone,’ and how it ultimately strengthened their marriage.
‘My wife has full and unrestricted access to my phone (and everything else I own for that matter),’ he wrote in the caption.
‘I care about one thing and one thing only when it comes to relationships: connection.
‘Relationships are about trust and IF you trust someone, you want to know that they have your best interests at heart. And they want to know you have their best interests at heart.
‘I’ve been happily married for 15 years and never once have I had a need for «privacy.»
‘In fact, the word has never made it into a single conversation between my wife and me.’
He added that letting her access his phone at ‘eliminates all potential misunderstandings and encourages a strong sense of security and openness.’
‘Sharing full access of my phone takes our partnership and interdependence to a deeper level,’ he continued.
‘My wife and I lead fully integrated lives – with no barriers or secrets to speak of.’
