DEAR JANE: I’m terrified my six-year-old daughter is a SOCIOPATH

Dear Jane,

My daughter is six years old and for the past year or so, I’ve started to realize that she’s very different to other children – and not in a ‘my kid is so special’ kind of way, but rather because she’s displaying behavior that indicates to me there may be something very wrong with her.

Ever since she was little, my daughter hasn’t been particularly cuddly or affectionate, unless she’s trying to win myself or my husband over in some way. 

We even used to joke about the fact that she’s end up being a high-powered CEO, having mastered the use of manipulation from such a young age.

But the older she’s become, the colder she’s grown. Not just with us, but with the other kids at school, with our friends and relatives, even with the dog.

Dear Jane, I’m terrified my six-year-old daughter is a sociopath – and I have no idea how to handle it

She doesn’t really have any friends and her teachers have raised concerns on a few occasions about her ‘aggressive’ behavior towards her classmates. 

She’s been accused of snatching toys from other kids and refusing to apologize, pushing others on the playground, and even throwing a book at another little girl. 

Every time this has come up, we’ve sat her down and explained why her behavior was wrong – and while she nods along as we speak, she doesn’t really seem to be taking anything in. Nor does she show any signs of guilt. 

Last week I did what I know is the worst possible thing to do and I started Googling her behavioral traits to see whether there were other parents out there who might have struggled with similar issues with their own kids.

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But as I continued my search, one word kept popping up: sociopath.

Initially I shut all those websites down and vowed to never again to use Google as a diagnostic tool, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my daughter’s behavior does align in a lot of ways with the clinical traits used to define sociopathy.

The last thing I want to do is create drama where there is none – but whatever the root cause of my daughter’s behavior, I do know that it’s something we need to address.

My husband thinks she will simply grow out of it, but I’m really not so sure that’s the case… if anything I think it may just get worse with time?

Any thoughts on where I can turn?

From,

DIY Diagnosis

Dear DIY Diagnosis,

We find ourselves living in times where any and every behavior that feels slightly abnormal, seems to have a label. The diagnostic manual used by psychiatrists and therapists – the DSM V – has grown exponentially over the years.

I understand your worry and concern, but Google is not an accurate diagnostician. In fact, going down the Google rabbit hole is likely to make anyone fearful.

Your daughter may be exhibiting signs associated with sociopathy, but equally likely could have any number of disorders that would keep her slightly separate from her peers. 

Whether it’s a personality disorder or neurodivergency of some kind, this seems to be the right time to get her professionally evaluated.

The earlier there is a parental intervention, the better the outcome, and her behaviors can be managed through therapy, reducing the risk of the behaviors escalating. 

A conduct disorder doesn’t necessarily have to become sociopathy, if there is a therapeutic intervention.

Please look at www.bendhealth.com – a virtual mental health provider caring for children and their families.