Dear Jane,
I’m facing a dilemma involving one of my closest friends and I’m not sure if I can move past it.
You see, I was raised in a rural part of California, and the demographic is very split politically. I’m in my 30s, so a lot of my friends are liberal and vote for the Democrats, but I also have a handful of conservative friends.
I personally identify as a Republican, as do most of my family, and we all plan to vote for Donald Trump for the third time in the presidential election next month.
My best friend since elementary school, however, is very left-wing.
Dear Jane: My friend says she wishes Donald Trump had been assassinated and I plan to vote for him in November
After we graduated from high school, she attended UC Berkeley and her views became even more entrenched. She knows I lean right and so, as a rule, we tend to avoid discussing politics.
Recently, however, she has been bringing up the election more and more.
She will say things like, ‘I don’t understand how these idiots can vote for Trump’, despite knowing that I have voted for him in the past.
Then, after the first attempt to assassinate Trump in July, my friend joked that she wished the gunman hadn’t missed. I was shocked but I didn’t entertain her wild remarks with a dramatic reaction.
After the second attempt on Trump’s life last month, however, she said it again – and this time she seemed serious.
In fact, she told me that she hopes there’s a third attempt to kill him.
Frankly, I’m disgusted. Despite not liking Biden or Harris, I would never wish harm on either of them.
Unfortunately, ever since my friend made these remarks, I have felt increasingly uncomfortable around her.
Of course, I love her deep down and don’t want to lose our friendship. But I feel offended that she thinks of me as an ‘idiot’ and feels happy to air such violent thoughts.
What do you think? Is it worth distancing myself from a childhood friend over silly politics?
International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers’ most burning issues in her agony aunt column
From,
Conservative & Concerned
Dear Conservative & Concerned,
We all know how divisive politics can be and how angry people on both sides feel at this moment in time.
Despite what your friend has said about the Trump assassination attempts, and however appalling you found it, I hope you can chalk her words up to extreme upset and try to move on.
I have seen too many families and close friendships blown up over clashing political views.
Once upon a time, we were all able to listen to each other — even those with very different opinions. We didn’t try to change other people’s minds, or ‘cancel’ them if they didn’t share our point of view.
But no longer. And that is why I strongly believe that politics no longer has a place in most friendships.
That is not to say, however, that you shouldn’t address what has been said.
It sounds like both of you have already acknowledged your political differences and you should be able to speak openly.
Tell her that you love her, and the only way to protect your friendship is for both of you to now agree to completely take politics off the table.
Then you can simply appreciate each other for all the other amazing qualities I’m sure you both have, and which are all far more important than your respective political stances.
I hope she values your friendship and respects you enough to agree. If she does not, then perhaps it is time for you to move on.
