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Some months back a special envelope dropped through my letter box. It was a letter from Buckingham Palace.
I was to be awarded an MBE for services to magazine journalism – a world where I had spent 25 years of my career editing magazines such as Cosmopolitan and Elle.
I started to think about how I had found myself in such a position. There are, after all, no courses on how to be a good leader. No one told me how to navigate my way to the top.
There was no manual about how, and when, to take risks, big leaps of faith and even (whisper it) how to fail in order to push yourself forward.
How did I do it? The answer is not so simple. I suspect I got as much wrong as I did right. I did a lot of listening. I certainly did an awful lot of watching.
And so I’ve put together a list of things I wish I’d been told when I was at the bottom, as well as when I got to the top, to help you achieve career success, no matter what your field of work is…
You want as many different perspectives as possible. You don’t want an old Yoda teaching you everything they learnt, says Farrah Storr
Don’t find a mentor
Every ‘girl boss’ on earth says ‘get a mentor’. I know pretty much every Gen Z-er thinks they can’t be successful unless they have someone constantly cheerleading them. They are wrong.
When you’re starting out you want as many different perspectives as possible. You don’t want an old Yoda teaching you everything they learnt – including their prejudices. Instead, watch, take notes.
No point lobbying the CEO of your favourite company when you’re fresh out of university because they’re too far down the path to be able to remember the pain of just making tea for managers.
Instead, find someone just a few rungs ahead on the career ladder. Ask their advice as though the thought just occurred to you. Keep it low key.
Understand you won’t be here for ever
A career is always moving, even if you feel stuck right now. In fact, recognising you are stuck in the first place is the first step in moving on.
The perfect job exists only in hindsight
We are always told to aim for the top, as though ‘the top’ is where happiness lives. It is not.
Usually the top is long hours, loneliness, responsibility and the constant fear of losing it all. When I think about the jobs where I was happiest they are invariably the ones where I was grinding away trying to get to the top. Things are so much freer down there; you have less to lose and people are nicer to you. Remember this the next time it all feels tough.
We are always told to aim for the top, as though ‘the top’ is where happiness lives. It is not, writes Farrah
Getting to the top should not be a ‘goal’
Charmless leaders tend to be those who pursue the top for status rather than purpose. But chasing something simply for what you think it communicates to the world about you almost always ends in unhappiness, not least because no one really gives a damn about whether you’re at the top or not.
After the back-slapping, you’re just left with a responsibility-laden job that relies on passion, devotion and true purpose to get you through it.
Bond with your boss by asking for help
The older you get the more you realise asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes balls to tell your boss you’re struggling. And remember – good bosses want to help.
Underneath it all, every boss worries that their staff hate them. So asking for help is basically a way of saying: ‘I like and rate you.’ Who wouldn’t be bowled over by that?
Turn up early – to everything
Besides the fact it’s good manners, people notice this sort of thing. You get marked out as reliable. And no matter how ‘casual’ a workplace declares itself, every office wants someone reliable.
Kindness is the secret to networking
In my 20s, I was told the best way to network was to go and out and ‘meet people’. That meant tipping up to every nausea-inducing work party, as well as those ‘networking events’ that service no one. The truth is that if you have nothing of substance to offer, few people want to network with you.
Networking is not a transactional dance, it’s about being kind. Be kind to someone for no other reason than you can, and they will return the favour at some point.
The best-networked people I know are also some of the kindest. They give more than they receive. And they start by giving. Consider what you can do for someone before thinking about what they can do for you.
Act your salary
When you get a promotion, you don’t just get a pay rise. The expectation changes as well. So toughen up. Expect things will get more difficult and that people will rely on you more than they did before.
Reach out to the boss – whatever your role
I was a boss for more than half my career. It was lonely. So when a colleague reaches out to check in, invite you out or talk when you’re at some awful work ‘do’, know that the boss will always remember this.
Say sorry and you’ll never face a bad day
It’s impossible for anyone to come at you once you’ve held your hands up and apologised. It’s so disarming that there’s no way for anyone to remain angry. Try it… you’ll be amazed.
