It’s Britney, burrp… hiccup.
Saucy Ms Spears is melting down in public – again.
It’s not exactly 2007 – when a bald Brit went psycho Mary Poppins on a paparazzi’s car with an umbrella at a Los Angeles gas station. It’s not 2024 – when paramedics were called to the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood after Lil’ Miss Toxic said she twisted her ankle while doing a ‘leap in the living room.’
It’s somehow, tragically, worse.
The Daily Mail obtained footage of Britney twirling around a restaurant in a ritzy LA suburb this week, where she was seen stumbling like a sailor on shore leave.
Wearing a loose-fitting top that slipped down her shoulders (Whoopsie! Who let the girls out?) flip-flops and baggy white shorts that resembled an adult diaper, one of America’s most famous women reportedly ordered Happy Hour quesadillas, knocked over glasses and raised her drink to salute a gawking room of patrons.
Saucy Ms Spears is melting down in public – again
This week’s incident was a sad echo of her infamous 2007 breakdown (pictured)
Sure, that seems like my typical Wednesday, too. But then things swerved from mortifying to downright dangerously unacceptable.
Britney seemed to be about as steady on her feet as Joe Biden on loose sand before some mystery woman led her by the hand to the parking lot, where Britney promptly got behind the wheel of her black BMW.
Against the reported protests of her posse and folks in the restaurant, she drove off. And when I write ‘drove’, I mean she reportedly careened, tires screeching.
One witness said Britney ‘nearly ran over her friend while pulling out.’ Someone else followed her car – filming the vehicle doing U-turns, tailgating, and swerving into the opposite lane and shoulder of the road.
This isn’t funny anymore. It’s no question to me that Britney is putting her life at risk. But what if she had plowed her car into some else? An innocent young family driving home late? A teenager out with friends? You? Me?
Britney has crossed a double yellow line. And I am absolutely done defending her.
Someone should have called the police. And, please, don’t give me the song and dance about Britney’s miserable life.
I counted myself among those cheering on the sidelines in 2021 for the ‘Free Britney’ movement, when we bought the story that she’d been driven to madness by all the terrible men in her life.
She needed to be freed from conservatorship, so she could finally work, bitch. But then, oops!… She did it again.
One witness said Spears ‘nearly ran over her friend while pulling out.’ Someone else followed her car – filming the vehicle doing U-turns, tailgating other vehicle, and swerving into the opposite lane.
Britney has crossed a double yellow line. And I am absolutely done defending her
Look, there is a long list of seemingly predatory men accused of using Britney for her bits and bank account; her dad, Justin Timberlake (who, according to her memoir, pushed her to get an abortion while they were dating), her high school hillbilly first husband Jason Alexander, Kevin Federline, Sam Ashgari (her ‘actor’ husband who couldn’t get cast as an extra in Sharknado 15), and of course the felon ‘landscaper’, paunchy Paul Richard Soliz.
I get it, there have been some bad hombres who may have taken advantage of this señorita’s fragility. But when do Britney’s bad choices rest on her shoulders?
If this 43-year-old mom-of-two is the victim of anything, it’s her fans low expectations of her.
When Spears is dancing around with knives looking like a hopped-up jackal, filming herself half-naked and surrounded by piles of dog mess, disheveled, incoherent and lost, we must come to terms with the fact that our pop princess may be a menace.
When Justin Timberlake was arrested on Long Island in June last year on suspicion of drunk driving, you would have thought that his career was over. (He pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of driving while impaired.)
Certainly, the condemnation was loud and definitive.
But for Britney, it’s crickets.
How sad? Have her devoted fans written her off as a goner? Where are the ‘Free Britney’ kooks now? Are they just waiting for the worst?
Sources told the Daily Mail that – this time – it’s her ex-husband Federline’s new money-grabbing memoir, released the day before Britney’s blowout, that’s to blame it.
‘Kevin’s book is putting Britney in a tailspin,’ the insider said. ‘She’s spiraling. It’s reopening old wounds.’
Spare me the sob story. My tears have dried up for this woman-made disaster.
Yes, there are lurid allegations in K-Fed’s book, about Britney wishing her children dead, breastfeeding while on cocaine and punching one of her boys – all of which which she denies.
But if she thinks she’s doing anything to disapprove those claims – she’s got another thing coming.
The more she acts up, the more these stories seem probable. It’s you, hi. You’re the problem… it’s you.
Only you can heal yourself, Britney. It’s time to leave these toxic times behind once and for all.
