Me-Me-Meghan has gone mass market!
And, at least for the time being, it may be working.
Say what you will about her ‘business’ podcast ‘Confessions of a Female Founder,’ which seems to be running out of quality guests faster than ‘As Ever’ runs out of wildflower honey with honeycomb (only $28, while supplies last), but at least some money-hungry lady entrepreneurs are listening.
The show – featuring ballsy chicks who have started their own companies – premiered in early April at number two on Spotify‘s chart (before plummeting to the 37 slot as of April 24) – but let’s give a girl the benefit of the doubt.
‘Confessions’ is just the latest delicate link in Markle’s tenuous chain of fumbling private sector forays.
Her first podcast ‘Archetypes’ was cancelled after season one (by mutual agreement, we’re told). And in 2023, Bill Simmons, head of Podcast Innovation and Monetization at Spotify, called Meg and the Prince a pair of ‘f***ing grifters’.
Then, there’s ‘As If’, recently renamed from ‘American Riveria Orchard,’ which Meghan admitted on her show this week was a ‘word salad’ moniker.
Who needs cackling Kamala when you have meandering Meghan? (Oh God, I shouldn’t even say that. It might convince her to run for governor.)
Me-Me-Meghan has gone mass market! And, at least for the time being, it may be working.
Let’s give Meg her due. At least, she seems to be putting more effort into this than the British Royal family. And, perhaps, a mass-market lifestyle brand and a podcast marketed toward aspiring girlbosses will work.
But I can now reveal that the slumming Duchess is not being received as well closer to home.
The word from Montecito insiders is that Meghan’s mean-girl friends are relentlessly gossiping behind her back, roasting her as ‘pumpkin spice’ and ‘Walmart’ for allegedly selling out in a series of cheap stunts that do little to establish her as a forward-looking influencer.
To their point, a show about ‘founders’ is clumsy Gen-Z speak for anyone who coined a hashtag. It’s so five minutes ago, as the kids say.
These nattering West Coasters are also chiding Meghan for copying everyone else who’s been there, done that; with one of them going so far as to say, ‘She had this incredible opportunity to be the first Black woman to marry into the Royal Family and make her mark as a chic and charming revolutionary. She’s so obsessed with bees? Why couldn’t she stay in the Family and make honey with King Charles’s bees, he loves that stuff!’
Ouch!
That’s more painful than an un-numbed lip wax, but maybe the Montecito gals have a point.
I mean, it’s only episode 3 of ‘Confessions’ and it seems like the Pretty-Pretty Princess is scraping the bottom of the barrel, interviewing celebrity hair colorist Kadi Lee.
Was Meghan’s manicurist booked?
The two giddy pals basically brushed each other’s hair and gushed about the brave work saving the stressed tresses of West Side LA mommies during the pandemic, tossing bottles of bleach and toner over manicured hedges while old folks were dying and kids were melting down in a collective mental health crisis.
Friend-of-Meghan Lee, owner of Highbrow Hippie, was doing the Lord’s work while those silly first responders were just slacking off.
Friend-of-Meghan Kadi Lee, owner of Highbrow Hippie, was doing the Lord’s work while those silly first responders were just slacking off. (Pictured: Meghan Markle and Kadi Lee).
Kadi brags, ‘My clients call me the Florence Nightingale of hair color because I was going around in a full hazmat suit throwing hair color over their fences.’
I’m sorry… did Kadi just compare herself to the hero nurse who treated the wounded of the Crimean War and founded the modern nursing home?
Meghan certainly appears to be at a crossroads of her privileged journey. But one thing is sadly certain to me – even if she’s able to convince ordinary people that she’s one of them, she’ll never be good enough for the snobs she really wants to be in with.
Sleepy Waldo
Has America’s doddering ex-president gone missing?
The Biden Family’s Easter portrait was a bigger fail than Old Joe’s last cognitive test. Concerned citizens sounded the alarm as it looked like Biden had been photoshopped into the picture, looming like an unnatural cardboard cut-out over the rest of the brood.
Was he crouching or standing? And what was going on with ‘Doctor’ Jill’s unnaturally bending hair?
Someone call Liam Neeson!
The Biden Family’s Easter portrait was a bigger fail than Old Joe’s last cognitive test. Concerned citizens sounded the alarm as it looked like Biden had been photoshopped into the picture, looming like an unnatural cardboard cut-out over the rest of the brood.
Ireland’s Dimmest
Bitter ex-pat Rosie O’Donnell has a new enemy – no, not the gym – controversial HHS Secretary RFK Jr.
O’Flannel slammed Kennedy after he lamented that those with severe autism will ‘never pay taxes,’ ‘never hold a job’ and ‘never go on a date,’ among other things.
Dozy Rosie, mother of an autistic child, tweeted: ‘To think that this family is the one that created the Special Olympics, and he would go on with such disrespect, dehumanizing remarks, is absolutely deplorable.’
Yet Rosie – who fled to Ireland after Trump’s election – once had no problem suggesting that Barron Trump had autism… when he was 10 years old!
Clearly, Rosie is the one with special needs.
Hard to reach
Speaking of our nation’s most curious giraffe, 6ft 7in Barron Trump doesn’t give out his digits to prospective friends at NYU, according to sources. Instead, his communication mode of choice is chatting on Xbox.
Nerdy and sneaky.
Respect the player and his game.
Achy Pukey Heart
Sexy (almost) sexagenarian Elizabeth Hurley hard-launched her newest relationship with a smoochy picture with beau Billy Ray Cyrus on Easter Sunday.
Indeed, it does appear that Sloppy Cyrus has risen again – after his kids pleaded with him to clean up his act.
But Hurley doesn’t have the best men-picking track record, having dated hooker-hailing Hugh Grant, so maybe Silly Billy is actually a step up!
Sexy (almost) sexagenarian Elizabeth Hurley hard-launched her newest relationship with a smoochy picture with beau Billy Ray Cyrus on Easter Sunday. Indeed, it does appear that Sloopy Cyrus has risen again – after his kids pleaded with him to clean up his act.
Bieber’s fever
New video has emerged of a gaunt and sickly-looking Justin Bieber huffing a massive, smoking blunt-like object at Coachella, while next to his (hopefully) innocent 15-year-old brother.
Luckily, Biebs’ long-suffering, quick-thinking, $20 smoothie-sipping wife, Hailey quickly intervened and pushed the tween aside.
And you thought P Diddy was a bad influence.
Cousin love
Disturbed Nazi sympathizer Kanye West posted on X this week about his cousin who’s ‘locked in jail for life for killing a pregnant lady.’
Don’t worry, it gets worse!
Ye then claimed that he performed oral sex on the poor kid for eight years when they were children.
Perhaps that’s what made the chap snap.
