What a complete and utter Shi-gnal show!
Christmas came early for Democrats in DC this week, as they piled into an orgy of outrage over the first bona fide scandal of the Trump administration.
Atlantic editor-in-chief Jeffrey Goldberg exposed the whole magillah, revealing that he was in a grocery store parking lot when the scoop on the century splattered on his head like the most welcomed bird poop in the history of journalism.
There he was in his parked car (listening to NPR, no doubt) when he received a request from National Security Adviser Mike Waltz to join a chat on the encrypted messaging app Signal.
Goldberg excitedly accepted (spilling his vegan granola, no doubt) and he was included in a sensitive – possibly classified – debate over secret plans for a March 15 strike on Yemeni terrorists.
As a journalist, the thread is fascinating to read. In one exchange, vice president JD Vance boldly undermined #47, arguing the move didn’t serve US interests, writing: ‘I think we are making a mistake… I am not sure the president is aware how inconsistent this is with his message.’
CIA Director John Ratcliffe and a staffer for Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard seemed to back Vance’s reluctance. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth pushed the issue – and won.
The strike was a success and nearly forgotten when Goldberg dropped his bombshell. And as you can imagine, the Left was aghast, appalled… and having the time of their lives over this non-lethal ordinance.
Atlantic editor-in-chief Jeffrey Goldberg (pictured) exposed the whole magillah, revealing that he was in a grocery store parking lot when the scoop on the century splattered on his head like the most welcomed bird poop in the history of journalism.
There Goldberg was in his parked car (listening to NPR, no doubt) when he received a request from National Security Adviser Mike Waltz (pictured) to join a chat on the encrypted messaging app Signal.
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton – infamous for squirreling away reams of classified government emails on her unsecured private server – weighed in.
‘You have got to be kidding me,’ tweeted Clinton.
No, Hillary. You’ve got to be kidding. Put on your caftan back on and shut it!
Not to be upstaged, world-renowned security expert and former Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, Pete Buttigieg tweeted: ‘From an operational security perspective, this is the highest level of f***up imaginable. These people cannot keep America safe.’
Right, Petey. How’s the cleanup of that hazardous waste spill caused by a train crash in East Palestine, Ohio going? You know, the one you ignored as transport secretary for nearly three weeks.
Meanwhile, over on Capitol Hill, Trump’s top national security officials have been getting raked over the glowing coals by Dems demanding that heads roll. But for all this angst, we’re still not much closer to understanding how Goldberg ended up on that Signal chat. And there are so many hot takes getting cooked up online that I have to wear oven mitts just to open my computer.
For his part, Mike Waltz inartfully told Fox News’ Laura Ingraham on Tuesday night that Goldberg was ‘sucked’ into the thread. Odd wording, but ok.
Waltz claimed – under an expert grilling from Ingraham – that he takes ‘full responsibility’ for the breach, but also said he’s never spoken to Goldberg and did not knowingly have the editor’s contact in his phone.
WALTZ: I’m sure everybody out there has had a contact, where it said one person and then a different phone number.
INGRAHAM: But you’ve never talked to him before. So how’s the number on your phone?
WALTZ: Well, if you have somebody else’s contact and then–
INGRAHAM: Somebody sent you that contact? Was there someone else supposed to be on the chat that wasn’t on the chat?
WALTZ: So, the person I thought was on there was never on there. It was this guy.
INGRAHAM: Who was that person?
WALTZ: Well, I’m not, look, Laura. I take responsibility. I built the group. But that’s the part that we have to figure out.
Huh? Has this guy ever communicated on a smartphone before because he’s sounding like a total dummy.
And so, to paraphrase David Byrne, ‘well, how did Jeff get here?’
One theory gaining steam in the MAGA fever swamps is that a rogue White House staffer slipped Goldberg into the DMs like a randy groupie through a backstage side door.
After all, there have always been plenty of resistance-warriors willing to shiv President Trump. Even former Bill Clinton pollster (and occasionally reasonable pundit) Mark Penn believes that ‘the chance that this was done by an operative looking to embarrass the administration is about 90 percent.’
In one exchange, JD Vance (R) boldly undermined #47, arguing the move didn’t serve US interests, writing: ‘I think we are making a mistake… I am not sure the president is aware how inconsistent this is with his message.’
CIA Director John Ratcliffe (R) and a staffer for Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard (L) seemed to back Vance’s reluctance. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth pushed the issue – and won.
Waltz’s hypothetical target would have been Pete Hegseth (pictured), who as Secretary of Defense led the chat and was most at risk of being made to look like an incompetent amateur.
But there’s a problem with that calculation: a salty staffer would have needed unfettered control over Waltz’s phone and the ability to add a member to the chat without arousing suspicion.
So I for one don’t buy the ‘inside job’ hypothesis.
Then there’s the ‘fat-finger’ theory: that Waltz had already been chatting with Goldberg and somehow inadvertently added him to the Yemen thread in a moment of thick-thumbed hurry.
It’s compelling – but I have a better idea: that Waltz knowingly added Goldberg in a ham-handed attempt to turf a political rival.
In this hypothetical, Waltz’s most-likely target would surely be Hegseth, who as Secretary of Defense led the chat and was most at risk of being made to look like an incompetent amateur.
Here’s my thinking: Trump is termed out in 2028, and only one of these aspiring MAGA hotshots will be able to carry on Donald’s mantle.
JD Vance – with his dreamy blue eyes – is often considered the front-runner. But he’s a neophyte to the cause. Hegseth, meanwhile, is the ultimate loyalist and has been on Team Trump from the beginning. In other words, the golden boy has a target on his back.
But if this was an attempt to kneecap Hegseth, it failed miserably.
On Wednesday, Trump snapped at reporters trying to tie the Pentagon chief to Signal-gate: ‘Hegseth is doing a great job. Hegseth? How do you bring Hegseth into it? He had nothing to do with it.’
This is the best season of Succession yet!
