It can be hard to articulate why modern dating is so hard in Australia… unless you have a voice note that inculpates it.
Kate Rose has amassed over 100,000 views on TikTok by sharing a voice note a man once sent her where he calmly explained why he didn’t want to put any effort into dating her.
“I’m pretty easy with plans. I don’t like going on forced things. You know what I mean? Like taking a girl out for dinner is forced,” he said.
“I just like hanging out and chilling. I’m pretty easy, but yeah, honestly, how about you pick an idea? And I’ll just roll with that.”
Kate Rose, 24, resides in Melbourne and is a traffic controller. She’s officially fed up with Australian men’s low-effort approach to dating.
“Dating is probably the worst it has ever been; my friends at work in their 40s plus, I tell them my experiences, and they can’t understand how bad it has become. Most men don’t want to actually date you. They just want to fill in their boredom and try to get lucky,” she told news.com.au.
Ms. Rose has been single for over three years, and she’s finding trying to mean Mr. Right incredibly emotionally draining.
“I used to really enjoy dating and meeting new people but the constant disappointment by men who will love bomb and then leave is so exhausting,” she said.
“I’ve put a hold on dating right now as I just don’t have it in me to be disappointed and let down again.”
The voice note she shared online isn’t a random one-off but an example of the messages she gets from men.
“I posted another voice note from another guy who also suggested going to his for the first date. There’s been many more guys who have asked the same thing, and most of them, when I tell them no, will stop replying,” she explained.
The 24-year-old believes Australia’s dating culture is poor because the men are so laid-back and have become used to putting in little effort.
“The bar is set so low right now, we get impressed over the smallest of things that are literally the bare minimum, such as a good morning text every day or if they hold the door open for us,” she said.
“I also feel like a lot of men just want to have fun with women they don’t actually want to take them on a date.”
Ms. Rose admitted that it does make her “worried” about her romantic future because she’s concerned there are no decent men left.
“So many men have made me feel special and then out of nowhere just ignore or completely switch and it really messes with you and can put you down as a person,” she said.
New research from the dating app Bumble showed that 55 per cent of Gen Zers agree romance has been lost, but they strongly desire to revive more meaningful romantic connections.
Almost half of single women agree that flirting is the antidote to Australia’s low-effort dating culture experience, as it displays effort and communicates intention.
Sex therapist Chantelle Otten said Australia, at this point, is “desperate” for a better romance culture, and flirting could be the answer.
“Flirting is an essential part of human connection. At its core, it’s about playful communication and showing genuine interest in another person. It’s concerning to see that only 7 per cent of single Gen Z individuals feel confident in their flirting abilities,” she said.
“We need to find a balance where the art of flirting isn’t lost but adapted to fit our evolving communication styles.”
