A wedding planner has caused debate after revealing a bride sent out a ‘missed RSVP’ card to her guests.
Nishma Mistry, 39, from the UK, who runs Asian Bride Sorority, a support group designed to make planning Asian wedding easier for brides, took to TikTok on Sunday to share a ‘missed RSVP card’.
The card reads: ‘Missed RSVP. We’re sorry you can’t make it to our wedding. Our RSVP has passed and unfortunate you did not respond.
‘We would have loved for you to attend but final numbers have now been turned in and your presence will be missed, Bride & Groom’.
The post caused furious debate, with some people saying it was ‘tacky,’ ‘rude’ and ‘passive aggressive,’ while others said the bride and groom were merely setting their boundaries, with some calling it ‘genius’.
In a follow-up video, Nishma explained: ‘I posted this over the weekend and it’s caused quite a debate.
‘Some people are saying it’s passive aggressive, some people are saying it’s just plain rude. Some people have said it’s tacky.
‘I totally appreciate all of these opinions. Some people have said it’s not that hard to just call your guests up and see if they are actually coming, and all of these opinions are totally valid.
‘The tricky bit is, if you are planning a large wedding, or a South Asian wedding where you’ll have three to five events, across the span of a week, sometime a couple of weeks.
‘You’re usually dealing with 300-500 guests’.
Nishma added that RSVPing is a ‘new concept’ within South Asian communities, meaning people just ‘forget’ to RSVP.
‘As harsh as this does sound, and there could be easier ways to phrase it, but if somebody got this they would not forget to RSVP the next time’.
Nishma Mistry, 39, from the UK, who runs Asian Bride Sorority, a support group designed to make planning Asian wedding easier for brides, took to TikTok on Sunday to share a ‘missed RSVP card
The card reads: ‘Missed RSVP. We’re sorry you can’t make it to our wedding. Our RSVP has passed and unfortunate you did not respond. It has caused much debate
However, people were still torn, with some praising it as ‘genius’.
‘No. I personally called all my guests who didn’t rsvp on the last day before I had to give a headcount to caterer and venue,’ said one.
‘This needs to be worded differently to not sound passive aggressive. Is the point to say you’ll miss them or say they missed the deadline?’ added another.
‘That’s genius. I was literally calling people the week before my deadline to get numbers, and I several people say «yeah, we’re coming» over the phone and then not show up,’ wrote a third.
‘Call to check. ESPECIALLY because things get lost in the mail or things get missed on social media because it relies on algorithms or just tech in general,’ said another.
‘It’s also not that hard to RSVP,’ commented one.
Some people said the card was ‘tacky’ while others branded it ‘genius’
‘No! Between texts, calls, email, FB and FB messenger, just find out if they’re coming. What if the RSVP got lost?’ said another.
‘I think if they changed the wording for “you unfortunately did not respond” to “we unfortunately did not receive a response” it would go over smoother,’ commented one.
‘People mad at boundaries are the one’s breaking them,’ commented another.
‘If I forgot to RSVP and the bride called me to check, I would be mortified,’ one person wrote.
‘People who are complaining obviously haven’t planned an event that you have to pay per head,’ said one person.
‘Dinners are not cheep, and I feel that the person who received the invitation would have the decency to reply knowing how expensive weddings are,’ said another.
‘I approve the message but I would have done it orally and called or emailed people a week before the deadline warning them one final time.’
