Is this Taylor’s Temu era?
This week, Lil’ Ms Swift announced yet another album ‘The Life of a Showgirl,’ making it her ninth – re-recordings and all – to be released in just five years.
Geez, this woman is churning out music faster than Shein pumps out cheap crop tops in a flash sale.
The sheer volume of her prolific output eclipses that of her pop peers – Lady Gaga‘s exquisite new album ‘Mayhem’, for instance, was five years in the making.
So why the rush? Taylor may have a pathological compulsion to write, but if the 31 tracks on ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ are proof of anything, not every diary entry is worthy of release.
The New York Times condemned last year’s unwieldy, underwhelming double album as needing an editor, while the Atlantic said that she had ‘quality-control issues.’ And, despite topping the charts upon its release, she didn’t even win a Grammy in any of the six award categories for which it was nominated.
For an artist who considers herself a Machiavellian Mastermind, that reality check must have stung. And it should have clued her in that, maybe, she’s overdue a much-needed break.
Will her new project suffer the same fate?
Geez, this woman is churning out music faster than Shein pumps out cheap crop tops in a flash sale
So why the rush? Taylor may have a pathological compulsion to write, but if the 31 tracks on ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ are any proof, not every diary entry is worthy of release
Her announcement came on the Kelce brothers’ ‘New Heights’ podcast Wednesday night
The jury’s still out, but she promises a tight batch of 12 tracks, out October 3, that will give us a glimpse of ‘everything that was going on behind the curtain’ on her well-attended Eras tour – as if anyone asked.
Ironically, her revelation about brevity came during her podcast debut on ‘New Heights’, hosted by her boyfriend, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, and his brother Jason – an episode that was double the usual length.
Sure, a record-breaking 1.3 million viewers tuned in for the first hour of Wednesday’s show, but you have to wonder how many people kept watching into the second as Taylor blathered on and on about her favorite subject: herself.
For those who hoped for two hours of life-changing introspection and philosophical depth, the only emotional highlight of this prolonged pedestrian chat was Taylor being moved to tears over reacquiring her masters.
All the while, there was Travis, cradling her new album like the concussed golden retriever he is.
While I’m not saying the guy’s not smart, after this pod, I’m truly wondering if he’s illiterate.
Taylor, who calls Travis a ‘human exclamation point’, described the intellectual curiosity of her special little guy saying: ‘He may not have read Hamlet, but I explained it to him.’
And when she called her music ‘esoteric’, he beamed: ‘She’s so hot when she says big words!’
Well, I have a big word for Ms Swift: Stop.
Haven’t we gorged enough on the Taylor buffet in the last few years?
With a record-breaking, $2 billion international tour, a concert film for the sad saps who couldn’t find a few extra thousand in the couch cushions to fly and see her, and the nauseating oversaturation of her romance with Kelce, I’d say we’ve had our fill.
Haven’t we gorged enough on the Taylor buffet over the last few years? With a record-breaking, $2 billion international tour and a concert film for the sad saps who couldn’t find a few extra thousand in the couch cushions to fly and see her, I’d say we’ve had our fill
Taylor, who calls Travis a ‘human exclamation point,’ described the intellectual curiosity of her special little guy saying, ‘He may not have read Hamlet, but I explained it to him’
She promises a tight batch of 12 tracks, out October 3, that will give us a glimpse of ‘everything that was going on behind the curtain’ on her well-attended Eras tour – as if anyone asked
Never mind the fact that, if history’s any indication, these supposedly succinct tracks – ‘bangers’ as her mouth-breathing, Gucci bucket hat-wearing paramour describes them – will likely be a rehash of every bitter feud, slight or transgression against her.
Yawn. The same old trope of a 35-year-old penning petty poems about the cute boy in high school who ghosted her has worn thin.
Surely, there must be something she can croon about that’s better than revenge or these years-long grudges.
Do we really want to listen to an entire album of ‘Blake sucks’, ‘Trump’s a jerk’ and ‘Travis is awesome’? Because that’s reportedly what we’re getting.
At least fans can look forward to another breakup album if the subtle signs on ‘New Heights’ were any indicator.
She occasionally veered into Michelle Obama territory, roasting Trav for trying to sneak into her dressing room when she was performing at his football stadium back before they dated: ‘He came with [Chiefs quarterback] Patrick Mahomes and he thought that because he knows the elevator lady that he could just talk to her about getting [backstage]. That’s how it works in 1973.’
No, but it might be 1873.
Swift gushed about her hobbies like baking sourdough and knitting, tradwife pastimes more befitting of a grandma than a sensational ‘showgirl’.
Take some time off, Tay. We’d all love to see you step into your bygone era.
Truth, Justice… and Models!
Hollywood super-creep Leonardo DiCaprio abandoned his hat and mask guise and revealed his true identity while parting in Ibiza last weekend.
Not that it did him any good.
Police still gave the 50-year-old model chaser a full pat down before letting him into a party.
What’s your superpower, Leo: Being a deluded has-been?
Silly rabbit
Con-woman Anna Delvey was accused after abandoning two domesticated bunnies in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park after she posed with them in a Manhattan photoshoot.
But Ditzy Delvey claimed innocence.
Her court-mandated ankle bracelet, she claims, will prove she never step foot in Hipsterville.
Turns out, the 19-year-old assistant dumped the raccoon food.
Con-woman Anna Delvey was accused after abandoning two domesticated bunnies in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park after she posed with them in a Manhattan photoshoot
Off the top ropes
Ivanka Trump may be coming out of mid-life retirement and returning to the White House – but not to the West Wing.
UFC president Dana White said the president wants his daughter ‘in the middle’ of plans to stage a cage fight at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
I’d pay good money to see Ivanka put Melania in a leg lock.
I’d pay good money to see Ivanka put Melania in a leg lock
Real Housewives of Delaware
At 1am on Sunday, Ashley Biden posted – and quickly deleted – a grainy photo of a dude holding hands with a blonde and she captioned it, ‘My husband and his girlfriend holding hands.’
Geez, this family is cursed.
Joe is stumbling around like Ozzy.
Jill is a witch doctor.
And Hunter is a horny loose cannon.
Get these folks a reality show.
At 1am on Sunday, Ashley Biden posted – and quickly deleted – a grainy photo of a dude holding hands with a blonde
Imaginary Dems
Senator Chuck Schumer has been exposed for inventing make-believe constituents!
Comedian John Oliver compiled a video of the Senate minority leader talking about Joe and Eileen Bailey, a couple from Massapequa, Long Island, dozens of times over decades.
Too bad they don’t exist.
No word yet on where the Bailey’s met Joe Biden’s buddy Cornpop.
Dr Noooo!
Newlywed Jeff Bezos is reportedly obsessed with making his ‘muse’ Lauren Sanchez into a Bonafide Bond girl.
And he can do it too.
The billionaire baldie bought MGM studios, which owns the Bond franchise, in 2022.
Come to think of it: Jeff would make a great Odd-Job.
