The couples who run restaurants together (and somehow stay together)

Running a restaurant is no small feat. Running a restaurant with your life partner? That’s a whole different level of madness. It’s not just about nailing the perfect dish or managing a packed service – it’s about doing it all while navigating the quirks, habits and occasional chaos of your significant other. There’s no hiding a bad mood when you’re stuck in the kitchen with no escape.

We spoke to four hospitality power couples about the reality of mixing business with romance, the highs and lows of working together and how they keep the spark alive beyond the pass.

“We met when we were both working at Petersham Nurseries in Covent Garden,” says Aaron Potter, who co-founded Wildflowers with his partner, Laura Hart. “Laura was the retail manager of the shop and I was the head chef of one of the restaurants.” Aaron had always dreamed of opening his own restaurant: “It just felt natural to do it with Laura. Her creativity and eye for detail means we have been able to create a space that feels like us.»

For James Knappett and Sandia Chang of two Michelin-star Kitchen Table, their love story began with a bold move – quite literally, in the middle of a service. “We met working together at Per Se restaurant in New York City. At that time, I was working as a back server and just arrived a year later on a 1.5-year training visa from England,” says Sandia. “James was very vocal and with the accent, it was hard not to notice! He asked me out whilst I was clearing plates in the dish area, so that his head chef wouldn’t see him flirting with girls during service.” Smooth? Maybe not. Effective? Clearly.

Aushi and Eroshan Meewella, the husband-and-wife team behind Kolamba and Kolamba East, first crossed paths 24 years ago at a dinner in Little Italy. “Eroshan was a friend of my sister’s and I happened to be visiting from university,” Aushi recalls. “We had worked together prior to Kolamba (as he worked in property and I am an interior designer) and the partnership seemed to work – so we thought, why not!”

For Roisin Stimpson and Edmund Weil, the dream was there from the very start. “We both always loved hosting, vintage design and old-school jazz music (Rosie is also a jazz singer),” they explain. “Since we first got together at university in Dublin more than 20 years ago, we dreamed of a speakeasy/cabaret bar which would resurrect the old-school glamour of the Twenties and Thirties. It’s a dream we were lucky enough to fulfil when we opened Nightjar in 2010.”

It takes a particular kind of dynamic to work alongside a partner day in, day out, and still want to sit down for dinner together at the end of it. “The best part about working with your partner is the trust we have in each other,” says Sandia. “We know that we will always have each other’s back in any challenging circumstances. We know that we will never sabotage each other and that we will always want the best for each other. We challenge each other but for the same mutual purpose of helping each other become better.”

Aaron agrees, adding: “There are many great things about working together – firstly that we actually get to see each other! It also means we both have each other for support. When one of us is having a tough day, the other one knows how to intervene or lift some of that pressure off.”

That trust, and a clear sense of direction, is something Aaron and Laura also credit for their ability to work together. “We’re lucky that we haven’t had many disagreements, largely because we share such a clear vision of what we want to achieve with the restaurant and tend to think similarly,” Aaron says. “Of course, small differences in opinion crop up now and then, but we trust each other’s instincts. We’ve also learnt when to table a discussion and revisit it later, rather than pressing the point to the stage of conflict.”

For Roisin and Edmund, the biggest challenge is financial pressure. “The most challenging thing is probably the fact that our financial fates are entwined, which rather puts the pressure on to make things work. If one of us fails, we both fail!” It’s a sentiment echoed by Aushi, who acknowledges that their business is something that extends beyond working hours. “Being an entrepreneur means you work 24/7 – even when on holiday, we never switch off as it’s our business and our reputation. But we are trying to get better at it by hiring really capable team players who see themselves as vested in these businesses as we are.”

“In honesty, we kind of play it by ear,” says Roisin. “One of the benefits of working together is you always have something interesting to talk about, but there are certainly date nights when one of us will pipe up with a business matter and have to be told to pipe down again!”

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Luckily, they make time for each other. “Our bars are generally formed in the image of our perfect night out – great food, drinks and live music in a romantic setting. We also try to get away on a short break sans kids every year. Last year was the Orient Express, this year is Paris.”

With hospitality being an all-consuming industry, finding time for each other outside of work isn’t always easy. “We really do try, but between children and work, it is always hard to find time,” says Sandia. “We used to just take advantage of unexpected free time, but these rarely came along. Now we have made a new year’s resolution to have lunch or coffee once a week, and a date night once a month.” Roisin and Edmund also make a conscious effort to carve out quality time, even if it’s just “a movie night, playing tennis (Rosie normally wins!), or visiting one of our venues.” For Aaron and Laura, it’s the small things: “Even just a walk down to the local pub or a dinner out. Now, we see each other more than we ever have, and we’re able to nurture our relationship in a new way by supporting each other in the day-to-day running of the restaurant.”

For some, working together has deepened their relationship in ways they didn’t anticipate. “Opening a restaurant is absolutely bonkers – it’s incredibly stressful and pushes you to your limits. It demands a huge amount of trust in each other,” says Aaron. “Now more than ever, we have a shared goal, and seeing your partner thrive in such a challenging environment is truly inspiring.”

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James reflects on how their professional partnership has evolved over time. “I think we definitely have a stronger bond, like soldiers of war. I wouldn’t say that it has deepened our relationship in a good way, but we have really learned to respect each other’s boundaries better – knowing better when and how to speak to each other, and even more importantly knowing when to just not talk to each other.”

Inevitably, tensions arise. Some couples put firm boundaries in place, while others accept that work and home life will always blend together. “Many people say to completely separate work and personal life but I think it is impossible,” says Sandia. “Heated arguments at work sometimes result in bad vibes at home, and a nice morning at home may result in a more positive outlook at work. Our life is work and our work is life. We live and breathe the same standards and ethos for both work and personal life.”

James admits they’ve had to learn how to pick their battles. “Now that we are almost 13 years into working together, we have learned how to pick fights. We have learned that some things are not worth arguing over. We have also learned how to better let go of the emotions at work when we leave work. It may not always be 100 per cent fault-proof but we are getting better. We now have an unwritten and unspoken rule that we do not discuss work-related issues during the weekends. It’s a 99 per cent success rate.”

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When it comes to advice for other couples considering going into business together, the consensus is clear: communication and trust are everything. “Keep an open dialogue, always support each other, and stay aligned with the shared vision you’re working toward,” says Aaron. “Don’t forget to celebrate the small wins along the way – and most importantly, have fun.” Aushi agrees: “Patience, trust and respect are key – you have to really trust your partner and respect them for the decisions they make, even though it may not be what you would have done.”

For James, it’s about remembering that even in the most stressful moments, you’re on the same side. “There are no written rules that apply to every single couple. If you feel like you need to go to sleep angry at each other from the day, or need some time to not speak to each other, that’s also perfectly fine. But always remind yourselves that the two of you have each other’s back, no matter what the argument is about.”

Roisin adds, “Although we don’t see 100 per cent eye to eye all of the time, on the whole, doing business together is a positive for our personal relationship. Running a business – especially in the hospitality sector – involves lots of daily decision-making which can often feel high pressure. To have each other as a sounding board and to be able to make important decisions together has made running the business less pressurised and more enjoyable for both of us.”

“We’ve heard countless couples we know tell us they could never work together,” says Edmund. “And yet after 12 years, it’s hard for us to imagine doing it any other way. It requires clear communication, empathy and cooperation at all times, which can take a lot of effort, but we feel it’s a dynamic that should underlie any healthy relationship – working together just gives you a lot of practice!”

For these couples, love isn’t just about candlelit dinners – it’s about navigating a fully booked Saturday night, celebrating the small wins and knowing when to let your partner have the last word. If they can survive the heat of the kitchen, they can survive anything.

Scallop crudo

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By: Aaron Potter, Wildflowers

Note: It’s important that the scallops you use for this are incredibly fresh, and if you’re wary of eating raw shellfish, you can freeze the scallops and defrost them overnight in the fridge to ensure they are safe to eat. You can shuck your own scallops if you can source them live, however a local fishmonger will always prepare them for you. For this recipe, you will only need the white scallop meat, not the roe, as this part isn’t pleasant to eat raw.

Ingredients:

4 large hand dived scallops

Extra virgin olive oil

1 lime

2 clementines

2 tbsp pomegranate seeds

1 red chilli

Sugar

Sea salt

¼ bunch coriander

¼ bunch basil

Method:

1. Zest and juice the lime and mix with the same weight in sugar and olive oil. Stir to dissolve the sugar and season with sea salt.

2. Wash the basil and coriander and finely chop both, including the stalks from the coriander.

3. Using a blowtorch, or on top of your gas burner, scorch the chilli all over and rub off the skin, remove the seeds and finely dice. Add to the lime dressing.

4. Peel the clementine and cut each segment into 3 pieces, saving any juice and adding it to the dressing.

5. To serve, dice the scallops a similar size as the clementines and season with a little sea salt. Place the scallops in a small mixing bowl, add the clementines, the pomegranate seeds and a spoonful of each of the herbs. Pour over the dressing and stir gently to combine. Leave to sit for 2 or 3 minutes and adjust the seasoning with salt, lime juice or sugar if necessary.

6. Spoon into a shallow bowl or plate, ensuring the scallops are divided evenly between the two portions, and finish with a drizzle of olive oil and a fine zesting of clementine or lime zest.

Spicy cumin lamb

By: Sandia Chang, Kitchen Table

“This easy dish is always mine and James’s go-to, and so comforting over a bowl of warm rice.”

Serves: 4

Ingredients:

3 tbsp canola oil

2 tbsp ground cumin

1 ½ tsp crushed red pepper

1 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce

1 tbsp cornstarch

2 tsp toasted sesame oil

1 tsp sugar

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1 ¼ pounds trimmed boneless lamb shoulder, thinly sliced

1 large white onion, cut into 1 ½-inch pieces

½ cup coriander leaves

¼ cup low-sodium chicken broth

Steamed rice, to serve

Method:

1. In a large bowl, combine 2 tablespoons of the canola oil with the cumin, crushed red pepper, soy sauce, cornstarch, sesame oil, sugar and 1 teaspoon each of salt and pepper.

2. Add the lamb and onion and turn to coat. Let stand for at least 10 minutes, but best overnight.

3. Heat a large cast-iron skillet until very hot. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon of canola oil and swirl to coat.

4. Add the lamb and onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until browned, about 10 minutes.

5. Add the broth and cook, stirring and scraping up any bits stuck to the bottom of the skillet, until the broth has evaporated, about 2 minutes.

6. Stir in the coriander at the end off the heat. Serve with rice.

Ceylon chicken curry rice

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By: Kolamba

Ingredients:

2 tbsp vegetable oil

¼ tsp fenugreek seeds

8 curry leaves

2 medium, thinly sliced onions

6 cloves, finely chopped garlic

Thumb-sized piece ginger, finely chopped

1 ½ tsp ground turmeric

1 tsp mild chilli powder

10g roasted curry powder (see ingredient/method below)

2 tbsp white wine vinegar

2 peeled and chopped tomatoes

6 pods, cracked cardamom

5 cracked cloves

1 stick cinnamon

1 stick, bruised lemongrass

5cm piece (optional) pandan leaf

8 skinless chicken thighs

350ml tin coconut milk

2 tsp lemon juice

Salt, to season

To serve:

Cooked rice

For the roasted curry powder:

4 pods, seeds extracted and shells discarded cardamom

1 tsp basmati rice

1 tsp coriander seeds

1 tsp cumin seeds

1 tsp black peppercorns

1 tsp black mustard seeds

1 tsp fennel seeds

4 cloves

Method:

1. To make the roasted curry powder, put all of the ingredients into a large frying pan and cook over a medium heat for a couple of minutes or until lightly browned and fragrant. Cool before grinding in a pestle and mortar. Keep any leftover powder in an airtight container (for up to one month).

2. Heat the oil and fry the fenugreek seeds and curry leaves until the leaves start to brown.

3. Add the onion, garlic and ginger, and fry gently for 10 minutes or until the onion is soft.

4. Add the ground turmeric, chilli powder, 10g of the roasted curry powder, a pinch of salt and the vinegar, and stir well.

5. Add the tomatoes, whole spices, lemongrass and pandan leaf, if using, then add the chicken

6. Stir to coat the chicken pieces in the spices, cover and cook for 10 minutes over a medium heat. Add the coconut milk, cover and cook on low for 30-40 minutes or until the chicken is tender.

7. The curry might look dry at first but liquid will be released from the chicken during the process.

8. Check seasoning, and add a squeeze of lemon juice (if you like) before serving with rice.

Rio Verde

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By: Samelt Ali, bar director at Oriole

Ingredients:

40ml Altos Plata tequila

10ml Rinquinquin a la peche (or Sauvignon Blanc as an alternative)

25g tamarillo juice (or fresh passion fruit pulp as an alternative)

12ml lemon juice

12ml sugar syrup

25ml watermelon juice

A small pinch of Maldon salt

Method:

1. Shake all the ingredients together and serve over ice in a rock glass.

2. Garnish with a fresh mint sprig and berries to serve.