What do the unlikely group Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, the Duke of Sussex Prince Harry, and Lady Gaga‘s ex-boyfriend Taylor Kinney all have in common?
Their partners all remind them of their mothers, of course!
It’s a relationship phenomenon that seems to be taking over Hollywood, as Kelce revealed in an interview with GQ this week that his girlfriend Taylor Swift reminds him a lot of his mom, Donna Kelce.
‘Their kindness, their genuineness, their ability to say hello to everyone in the room,’ Kelce said of the characteristics that Swift shares with Donna.
‘Their ability to show love and support no matter what. And on top of that, their work ethic,’ he continued.
‘I saw my mother reach goals that she had set for herself, go from being a teller to working all the way up in the KeyBank building.’
Kelce said that he had seen Swift have a similar ‘determination and perseverance’ in her career.
‘I’ve seen Taylor do the exact same thing of setting goals for herself and exceeding the expectations and really captivating the world in that regard,’ he said.
Travis Kelce revealed in an interview with GQ this week that his girlfriend Taylor Swift reminds him a lot of his mom, Donna Kelce
It’s a relationship phenomenon that seems to be taking over Hollywood. Kelce is seen with his mom and brother
Prince Harry has repeatedly said that Meghan Markle has a lot of similarities to his late mother, Princess Diana
Interestingly enough, Kelce isn’t the only person who feels that way about their partner.
Prince Harry has repeatedly said that Meghan Markle has a lot of similarities to his late mother, Princess Diana.
‘So much of what Meghan is, and how she is, is so similar to my mum,’ Prince Harry stated during the first episode of the couple’s 2022 Netflix docuseries, Harry & Meghan.
‘She has the same compassion, the same empathy, she has the same confidence, she has this warmth about her,’ he shared about Meghan.
Back in 2012, Lady Gaga’s then-boyfriend Kinney said that a partner reminding you of their mother is the hallmark of a good relationship, according to Glamour.
‘I look up to a strong woman, maybe that’s why I fell for Gaga. She works incredibly hard and is very strong and inspirational like Mom, with a great work ethic,’ Kinney said at the time.
But even though this relationship trait may be a green flag for these A-list men, is it really something that people should be looking for in a partner? And why does it occur so often?
According to London-based psychotherapist and director of In Therapy London Dr. Daren Banarsë, this phenomenon is something ‘primal’ that naturally occurs in the ways in which we are ‘wired for connection.’
‘So much of what Meghan is, and how she is, is so similar to my mum,’ Prince Harry (seen with his mom) stated during the first episode of the couple’s Netflix docuseries, Harry & Meghan
He gushed that Meghan has the same ‘compassion, the same empathy, and the same confidence’ as his mom, seen here in 1986
Back in 2012 Lady Gaga’s then-boyfriend Taylor Kinney said that a partner reminding you of their mother is the hallmark of a good relationship. They’re seen in 2016
‘Long before we consciously think about what we want in a partner, our nervous systems have already been programmed with a template of what love feels like,’ Banarsë told the Daily Mail exclusively.
‘From early infancy, our primary caregivers create an unconscious blueprint for love, safety, and intimacy that guides our adult relationships,’ he shared.
Dr. Banarsë explained that there are ‘three key mechanisms’ that drive this pattern.
‘Sexual imprinting creates an unconscious template where men internalize their mother’s traits as appealing in romantic partners – not through inappropriate attraction, but as markers of what feels familiar and secure,’ he explained.
‘Attachment theory shows us that early maternal bonds literally wire our brains for how we expect to be loved.
‘There’s also often an unconscious drive to recreate familiar relationship dynamics, even challenging ones, in hopes of finally «getting it right.»‘
He also noted that ‘the comfort of familiarity’ plays a ‘huge role’ in this dynamic.
‘Our nervous systems naturally seek what feels known, even when that familiar pattern might not serve us well,’ he added.
But whether this quality is a good thing is something that still remains to be determined
According to psychotherapist and director of In Therapy London Dr. Daren Banarsë, this phenomenon is something ‘primal’ that occurs in the way we are ‘wired for connection’
But whether this quality is a good thing is one that still remains to be determined as Dr. Banarsë said it’s not as simple as boiling down to ‘good’ or ‘bad.’
‘This isn’t black and white – it depends entirely on what aspects are being replicated. If a man’s mother embodied genuine warmth, emotional availability, and healthy boundaries, seeking these qualities is remarkably wise,’ he said.
‘These men are unconsciously gravitating toward secure attachment – the gold standard for healthy relationships.’
However, the doctor warned that things can take a turn for the worst when the attraction ‘stems from unresolved wounds.’
‘Some men unconsciously choose partners who replicate their mother’s emotional unavailability or controlling behaviors, simply because this dysfunction feels so familiar,’ Banarsë explained.
‘What’s particularly challenging is that these attractions can be incredibly powerful – often accompanied by overwhelming chemistry and an almost magnetic pull that completely bypasses our rational thinking,’ he continued.
‘The intensity can feel like destiny, making it nearly impossible to step back and assess whether their partner is actually good for them.’
The psychotherapist said that recognizing traits of your mother in your partner doesn’t necessarily indicate health or happiness in the relationship.
The psychotherapist also noted that ‘the comfort of familiarity’ plays a ‘huge role’ in this dynamic
‘Awareness makes all the difference here. Men should seek partners who embody their mother’s genuinely positive qualities – her capacity for nurturing, her values, her emotional intelligence,’ he explained.
‘The trouble comes when they’re unconsciously drawn to partners who trigger unresolved childhood wounds.’
In the end, he encouraged men to think deeply about their relationships.
‘Are you drawn to someone because they embody qualities you genuinely admire, or because they recreate a familiar dysfunction?’ he questioned.
‘The healthiest partner choice means seeking someone who feels both familiar enough to feel like home and different enough to inspire genuine growth.’
