Howard, it seems, is refusing to meet his end.
After a disastrous few weeks in which Stern refuted claims that SiriusXM was cancelling him and made a promise to return to his program this Tuesday to explain all — well, Howard was a no-show.
First came reports that he had a ‘family emergency’, followed by intimations that Stern, 71, was deeply concerned about his 97-year-old mother’s health.
Hours later, the Daily Mail reported that Stern had sent an ‘out of the blue’ email to his 95 staffers, on Labor Day evening, suddenly informing them that he would not be resuming the show the next day.
Nice. His staff, in limbo since the August thunderbolt that SiriusXM wanted Howard gone, learn on Labor Day — the irony! — that their boss, whose current contract is worth $500 million, was pulling the plug on his own heralded return and would be in touch… soon, I guess?
His team’s own concerns about job stability and future paychecks — as the holiday season approaches, no less — seem hardly top of mind for their one-time multi-million-dollar boss.
After a disastrous few weeks in which Stern refuted claims that SiriusXM was cancelling him, followed by a promise to return to his program this Tuesday and explain all – well, Howard was a no-show
Later on Tuesday afternoon, a report surfaced that Stern didn’t return to work because one of his cats died
Later on Tuesday afternoon, a report surfaced that Stern didn’t return to work because one of his cats died.
Is he sure that cat didn’t also eat his homework?
Even if true, it’s a lame excuse.
Stern has fostered hundreds, if not thousands, of cats since marrying his 18-years-younger wife Beth. The notion that he has never lost a cat before or is so bereft that he just couldn’t bring himself to broadcast, as his life’s work and legacy hangs in the balance, beggars belief.
Indeed, a source told the Daily Mail that Howard refused to come back because of ‘frustrations over the new contract’ he’s been trying to negotiate — with a company that has made clear they would like to be rid of him.
How desperate and pathetic. How unprofessional to pull this inconsiderate stunt hours before his remaining fans (listenership has plummeted from a reported 20 million daily listeners to just 125,000) expected his much-heralded return.
One wonders just who is guiding and advising Stern — much less agenting him.
Has he found a real replacement for his longtime agent, the legendary Don Buchwald, who died last July, age 88?
It was Buchwald, after all, who negotiated Stern’s half-billion-dollar deal.
‘Everyone should have a Don Buchwald in their life,’ Stern told the New York Times in 2018. ‘I’d never want to be without him, and I don’t need anyone but him.’
It’s hard to imagine Buchwald allowing Stern to careen as he has since August, when the Daily Mail broke the news that Stern had been blindsided — contrary to a show insider’s later insistence that this was all one big hoax designed to gin up interest for his September return.
Stern has fostered hundreds, if not thousands, of cats since marrying his 18-years-younger wife Beth (pictured in 2019)
‘They’re desperately trying to make this thing go viral… to boost his numbers for his return,’ the source claimed. ‘The numbers are so pathetic they don’t know what to do.’
Shades of Stephen Colbert, who had a bloated staff of 200 to write and produce a show that hemorrhaged millions, causing CBS execs to finally pull the plug.
And Colbert, like Stern, went super-woke. Both men forgot they were comedians and bought into their own hype, sure that they could convince the country that Trump was Hitler, that the Covid vaccine was America’s new religion and that Kamala had to win or democracy would end.
The result? Audiences fled in droves, never to return.
Another Stern source contended that the one-time shock jock’s critics would be in for a ‘rude awakening’ once he was back on-air and that by then, Howard would have ‘a new contract’ and begin ‘his next chapter’.
Please. All this chaos points to one scenario: SiriusXM has buried this overpaid dinosaur.
They see the future in podcasts and in younger, relatively cheaper talent — such as Alex Cooper, host of ‘Call Her Daddy’, who signed to the network for a reported $125 million and who, according to all reports, Stern cannot stand.
Of course he can’t! She’s young, she’s playing on his turf — sex and scandalous celeb confessions — and, likely most galling to him, she’s a woman.
SiriusXM surely see the future in podcasts and in younger, relatively cheaper talent – such as Alex Cooper (pictured), host of ‘Call Her Daddy’
‘It’s completely turned Howard’s world upside down,’ a source said in August. ‘She’s the one [who] bugs him… he hates that this young, bubbly woman is the next big thing. That’s who they have to keep Howard away from when she comes to New York’.
Howard Stern — cowed by a 30-year-old sex podcaster!
It lends real credence to that earlier insider claim that once Stern’s contract expired this fall, ‘Sirius is planning on making him an offer, [but] they don’t intend for him to take it. [They] are never going to agree on the money he is going to want. It’s no longer worth the investment.’
Of course it’s not. Howard — just like Meghan Markle, Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour — is refusing to take the note from commerce and the culture: Your time is past. We’ll do just fine without you.
In fact, we’ll be better than ever. So please. Just go.
But Stern’s ego, apparently, will not allow this to penetrate. And so he promised a return to air the day after Labor Day, only to break trust with his waning audience, take his proverbial football, and go home.
Mind you, coming back to his chair and back on-air entails Stern simply rolling out of bed in one of his multimillion-dollar estates and padding to a state-of-the-art, in-home satellite studio.
Hardly the commute of the working class, for whom he was once a hero.
Now Stern swears he’ll be back next week, for real this time.
Who would ever believe him?
