When comedian Nikki Glaser stopped by the TODAY studio to chat with Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager, she admitted something you don’t often hear women say in public: she intentionally decided not to have biological children.
«I didn’t freeze my eggs,» Glaser said, noting that if she feels the pull to have children one day, she would consider adoption.
Though she noted that kids are «hard work» and she wants to focus on her career, she said that the real reason she decided not to have kids is, «I’m scared to love something that much.» She talks more about this issue in her new HBO special, “Someday You’ll Die,”
«That’s why I think your comedy is so amazing,» Jenna said. «Because at the center of it are real conversations women are having. I have friends that have decided not to have kids, and there’s still some shame there.»
«You see your friends wanting it so badly — genuinely wanting it — and you feel like, ‘What’s wrong with me that I don’t want it?’ You kind of feel left out,» she said honestly. «And that’s what I’m struggling with more than just, ‘Well, should I do it?’ Because I’m kind of sure I don’t want it. But I’m like, ‘Why don’t I want this thing that everyone seems to want?'»
The comedian is saying aloud the things that most women ask themselves silently.
She continued, «I feel like I can always adopt.»
«By the way,» Hoda jumped in. «I would like to let you know: Adoption rocks.» Hoda has two adopted daughters: Haley, 7, and Hope, 5.
«I have some time, and I really don’t care if the baby looks like me,» Glaser said. «It’s not really interesting to me.»
This decision about whether to have kids is so hard, Glaser said, because women have «a limited time. Men … you could squeeze something out of them when they’re in the casket and make something with it. They have til forever and it’s not fair, and it’s just the way it is.»
Glaser cautioned that she’s not «mad» at men for being fertile longer than women, but she said a woman’s value plummets «when you’re not a sexual being anymore, when you’re not fertile. That’s the irony … I don’t want kids, so my fertility is not an issue to me, really. But then I’m trying to hold on to it because it’s what gets me attention from men.»
Glaser, who is about to turn 40, said she was recently surprised when her Uber driver didn’t volunteer to help with her bags.
«‘Is this the first sign of menopause?'» she wondered.
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
