Valerie Bertinelli is getting candid about her relationship with Eddie Van Halen.
On Thursday, May 2, following the release of her son Wolfgang Van Halen‘s episode of Behind the Music on Paramount+, which chronicled his relationship with his father, Bertinelli opened up about the toxicity that affected her marriage to the late rockstar.
«I was finally able to watch Wolfie’s Behind the Music. It was not easy,» she began in the candid video, speaking directly to the camera. «I’d stopped it many times because it was just too brutal to watch for many reasons. One, seeing Wolfie’s pain. Two, seeing what a better job I could have done as a parent even though he turned out magnificently. I made a lot of mistakes.»
«And three, seeing what I had turned of Ed’s and my relationship — into some sort of fantasy, soulmate recreation of history,» she continued.
For the TV star, although she and Van Halen were in love in her 20s, their relationship «rapidly declined» due to his use of drugs and alcohol — along with his infidelity. As Bertinelli, put it, «nothing that makes you feel loved and wanted and cared for. Nothing that would scream soulmate, that’s for sure.»
Weiss Eubanks/NBCUniversal via Getty; Jerod Harris/Getty
«But after Ed died, I was more than willing to put myself in the grieving widow category for a man that I hadn’t lived with for 20 years,» she continued, becoming emotional as she spoke to the camera. «What we had together was this beautiful son that we both unconditionally loved.
«That’s what I got out of that marriage was Wolfie, the best thing that ever happened to me,» Bertinelli finished. «Not a soulmate.»
wolf van halen/ Instagram
Wolfgang, 33, appeared in a new episode of Behind the Music this week, discussing the impact of his father’s relationship on his life and career.
«I had the honor of being asked to tell my story on Behind The Music,» Wolfgang wrote in a post on X (formerly Twitter) on Thursday. «It was difficult, but also incredibly cathartic being able to reflect on my experiences, the incredible people I’m blessed to have in my life and most importantly, my bond with my father. I don’t normally talk so openly about things, so this was new for me.»
Wolfgang is the only son of Van Halen frontman Eddie Van Halen and the Golden Globe-winning actress. The pair met in 1980. Just one year later 21-year-old Bertinelli and 26-year-old Van Halen tied the knot. They were married for more than 20 years before separating in 2001 and officially divorcing in 2007.
Van Halen died from throat cancer at age 65 on Oct. 6, 2020. Both Wolfgang and Bertinelli were by his side, they said at the time.
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Despite the difficulties in their relationship — which Bertinelli has long been candid about — the couple were on good terms before Van Halen’s death, even attending each other’s second weddings.
The Indulge author told PEOPLE in an April cover story that Van Halen «knew how much I loved him,» adding, «I continued for years to rewrite the facts in my head and build them into some sort of fantasy. But now I know we were never going to get back together. We were becoming kinder souls to one another. Our bond was the unconditional love we had for our son.”
